Famous Poker Sayings
Looking for a quick comeback or insult? Here are a few from the Old West sure to get the job done.
- Most Famous Poker Sayings
- Famous Poker Sayings
- Famous Poker Sayings
- Famous Gambling Sayings
- Famous Poker Quotes And Sayings
Funny poker quotes and famous poker sayings! These funny poker quotes are well known and can be seen in poker books and even movies all around the globe. While some of it is purely entertaining, there is always some truth in all jokes, so it will be worth your time. “Just play every hand, you can’t miss them all.”. Poker is a game which has generated a lot of amazing stories, brilliant players, and fantastic quotes. But poker quotes aren’t just fun to read—they are also educational. They have something to say to us about the game itself, and oftentimes, life in general.
Three of the more famous women gamblers of this time were Calamity Jane, Poker Alice, and Madame Mustache. Before long, many of the Old West mining camps such as Deadwood, Leadville, and Tombstone became as well known for gunfights over card games than they did for their wealth of gold and silver ore. This is one of the most popular sayings in pokerand believed to have originated when Jack Straus won the 1982 WSOP Main Event after being left with a single chip. “All I did was eat, sleep, and breathe tournament poker and the results showed that.”.
A Mean Cowboy
MEAN/ANGRY
He was mad enough to swallow a horn-toad backwards.
He’s so mean he’d steal a fly from a blind spider.
He was so mean, he’d fight a rattler and give him the first bite.
He was mean enough to steal a coin off a dead man’s eyes.
He made an ordinary fight look like a prayer meetin’.
When I’m done with you, there won’t be enough left of you to snore.
Most Famous Poker Sayings
He was mean enough to eat off the same plate with a snake.
He was so mad he could bite himself.
He was mean enough to hunt bears with a hickory switch.
UGLY
He was uglier than a new-sheared sheep.
He has teeth so crooked he could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.
His face was puckered like wet sheepskin before a hot fire.
Her face looks like a dime’s worth of dog meat.
He was ugly as a burnt boot.
He was so ugly he had to sneak up on a dipper to get a drink of water.
He looked like the hindquarters of bad luck.
His lip hangs down like a blacksmith’s apron.
She’s so ugly, she could back a buzzard off a gut-wagon.
He looks so bad his ears flop.
She’s so ugly, she’d make a freight train take a dirt road!
He’s as ugly as homemade sin.
She’s so ugly she could bluff a buzzard off a meat wagon.
CRAZY
He was crazy enough to eat the devil with horns on.
He’s kinda off his mental reservation.
His intelligence shore ain’t at this camp.
He’s as crazy as popcorn on a hot stove.
He is as crazy as a sheepherder.
Somebody stole his rudder.
He’s crazier than a run over coon.
He’s studying to be a half-wit.
STUPID
His brain cavity wouldn’t make a drinkin’ cup for a canary.
He couldn’t teach a hen to cluck.
He knows as much about it as a hog does a hip pocket in a bathing suit.
His knife’s so dull it wouldn’t cut hot butter.
He don’t know dung from wild honey.
If all his brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow his nose.
He couldn’t cut a lame cow from a shade tree.
He couldn’t track an elephant in snow.
He was so dumb he couldn’t drive nails in a snowbank.
He’s as dull as dishwater.
He don’t know any more about it than a hog does a sidesaddle.
He is plumb weak North of his ears.
He can’t tell skunks from house cats.
He had a ten-dollar Stetson on a five-cent head.
His family tree was a shrub.
He couldn’t track a bed-wagon through a bog hole.
He didn’t have nuthin’ under his hat but hair.
He couldn’t hit the ground with his hat in three throws.
He was as shy of brains as a terrapin is of feathers.
He can’t tell skunks for house cats.
SKINNY/FAT
He is so thin he could take a bath in a shotgun barrel.
If he closed one eye he’d look like a needle.
He is so fat, you’d have to throw a diamond hitch to keep him in the saddle.
He is built like a snake on stilts.
HAPPY
He was grinnin like a weasel in a hen house.
He’s as pleased as a pup with 2 tails.
He’s grinnin like a jack ass eatin cactus
She was as chipper as a jaybird.
He was grinnin’ like a baked possum.
LAZY
He’s as slow as molasses in January.
He’s too lazy to yell “Sueee” in a pig pen.
He moves as slow as a crippled turtle.
He’s so lazy, molasses wouldn’t run down his legs.
LIES/CROOKED
Famous Poker Sayings
He’s so crooked, he could swallow nails and spit out corkscrews.
He told lies so well a man would be a fool not to believe them.
He’s as crooked as a dog’s hind legs.
He’s lyin’ like a rug.
VOICE/SINGING
His voice sounded like someone forgot to grease the wagon.
His singin’ was enough to make a she-wolf jealous.
He punished the air with his singing.
He had a voice like a burro with a bad cold.
Famous Poker Sayings
OTHER
He didn’t have manners enough to carry guts to a bear.
He couldn’t hit a bull’s rump with a handful of banjos.
He was as drunk as a fiddler’s clerk.
She’s as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
He’d been in the desert so long, he knew all the lizards by their first names.
He ain’t fit to shoot at when you want to unload and clean yo’ gun.
His mustache smelled like a mildewed saddle blanket after it had been rid on a sore back hoss three hundred miles in August.
He was grittin’ his teeth like he could bite the sites off a six-gun.
It was so dry the bushes followed the dogs around.
He’s as dead as a can of corned beef.
He’s as welcome as a rattlesnake at a square dance.
This saloon’s so bad, a rattlesnake’d be ashamed to meet his mother.
He lasted as long as a pint of whiskey in a five-handed poker game.
She’s as pretty as a speckled pup.
He is as poor as a church mouse.
He’s as rich as possum gravy.
He was as popular as a wet dog at a parlor social.
NOW IN A BOOK FORM
More Terms, Expanded Definitions + Reverse Lookup + More Pictures
Compiled and edited by Kathy Weiser/Legends of America, updated February 2020.
Also See:
Casino Slogans:- A casino is a facility for certain types of gambling. Casinos are often built near or combined with hotels, restaurants, retail shopping, cruise ships, and other tourist attractions. Some casinos are also known for hosting live entertainment, such as stand-up comedy, concerts, and sports.
50+ Best Casino Hotel Slogans & Taglines
A Feeling Like No Other – Beau Rivage Hotel And Casino In Biloxi, Mississippi On The Gulf Coast
Advertising Slogan: Harrah’s, Oh Yeah! – Harrah’s Casinos, Chain Of Casinos, United States
Ameristar. More Casino. More Fun. – Ameristar Casino Kansas City
Casino Pauma. The Players Oasis – Casino Pauma, California
Advertising Slogan: Where You’d Rather Be! – Agua Caliente Casino, California
Catch the Winning Spirit! – Spirit Lake Casino & Hotel, North Dakota
Closest To Vegas Without Leaving Moscow – Shangri La Casino, Moscow
Colorado Grande. “Where The Winners Play” – Colorado Grande Casino And Restaurant, Colorado, USA
Experience The Excitement! – Lakeside Casino Resort, Osceola Iowa, USA
Feel Like A Winner. – Casino Magic Biloxi, Hotel & Casino
Cocopah Casino. Where Dreams Come True. – Cocopah Casino, Arizona, Usa
Get Rich Sooner! – Creek Nation Casinos, Oklahoma
Gold Dust. Good Fun. – Gold Dust Gaming, Deadwood, South Dakota
He Wonder Of It All – Foxwoods Resort Casino
Catchy Luxury Casino Slogans And Sayings
How Do You Play? – Wildhorse Resort & Casino, Oregon
Ip Is The Place To Be! – Imperial Palace, Casino, And Hotel, Mississippi
Golden Eagle. Go Where The Winners Go! – Golden Eagle Casino, Kansas, USA
Famous Gambling Sayings
It’s All Here! – Pearl River Resort, Central Mississippi Gaming Resort, Including Two Casinos
Normandie Casino. Where Players Win. – Normandie Casino, Los Angeles, California
It’s All Right Here – Shooting Star Casino, Minnesota
Ohkay Casino Resort. Player’s Choice – Ohkay Casino Resort, New Mexico
Par-a-dice.River Boat And Hotel Resort In East Peoria On The Illinois River
Reel Action. Real Winners. Real Close – Winstar Casinos, Oklahoma
Rhythm City. Where A Good Time Lasts A Long Time! – Rhythm City Casino
Sandia Casino. The Place To Play! – Sandia Casino, Albuquerque
Famous Poker Quotes And Sayings
So Many Ways To Play! – Seven Clans Casinos, Northwest Minnesota
The Fun Never Stops – Seneca Niagara Casino, USA
The North Country’s Favorite Playground! – Akwesasne Mohawk Casino, USA
Twin Pine. Your Road To Riches! -Twin Pine Casino, California
We Bet You’ll Love It – Grand Victoria Casino & Resort By Hyatt, Indiana
What’s Your Grand Casino Story? – Grand Casino Minnesota
Your Table Is Ready! Casino Niagara. – Niagara Falls Casino
Where Even The View Is A Winner! – The Mill Casino & Hotel, Oregon
We Treat You Like Royalty! – Palace Casino Hotel, Gaming, Bingo Hall, Northern Minnesota
Where Friendship Is The Largest Jackpot! – Jackson Rancheria Casino, Hotel And Conference Center, California